To Hell and...

Only by a twisted series of events (and most likely punishment for something we did wrong in our lifetime) did we have to sit through 2 hours of hell in a movie theater seat, this last weekend. That's right folks – Hellboy 2: The Golden Army!

Here's how it all went down –

• Cat5 likes "boy movies" (you know, sci-fi, fantasy, based on graphic novel type movies).
• We had been dreading the upcoming release of the latest Hellboy movie and had not so quietly and quite repeatedly bitched and moaned about having to go.
• During the previews for Get Smart and as a result of our groans of disgust, Cat5 turned to Sarah's nephew, Calvin, and asked him if he wanted to see it. He, being the polite naive boy that he is, agreed. So they made "arrangements" to watch the 1st Hellboy at her house and then go see the sequel at the theater.
• The next day we were chatting and realized that she had inadvertently asked him out on a date! Awww! (This provided us with hours of teasing by the way!)
• Sarah's sister (bless her heart), is slightly over-protective and informed us that her 14 year old son could not just go to a movie with a "woman" almost 18 years his senior (Is that how all the hoity-toitey people say it?) by himself.
• So there we were – 4 hours of our Saturday sacrificed to Hellboy!

The first movie, we admit wasn't as bad as we had psyched ourselves up for. It had Nazi's and a few funny jokes – what more does a girl need! So our guards were down going into the 2nd one – Huge Mistake! There we sat, desperately trying to make time pass in any way we could find – trying to sleep, talking (sorry – I'm sure we deserve a Miss Manners Movie Card for that!) and braiding our hair! There were not enough Watermelon Sour Patch candies in the world to ease the pain.

We are sorry Gato Cinco.
We did not like Hellboy Dos.
We did not like it on your date.
We did not like it for our fate.
We did not like it in a chair.
We would not like it anywhere!